November

02.19

It has been always like this when i decided to write, a past-midnight time. Fortunately, i had enough nap on the afternoon, or maybe that's the reason why i still wide awake till now.

Like the title, November. Why i choose it as the title is not only because it is in November, but also because a lot is happening in this month. I could've name every post with the name of the month as a title but, oh, November is always special.

well for me, of course.

On the 16th November, i had the chance to go to Korea. Not the 'chance' as you expected from college-or-reward thingy, nope, but i'd still call it a chance. It was fine and fun until i feel drained just because i was being in a bunch of people i don't usually spend time with. People i don't even know the name. Some people i don't even close to and i have to stick and socialize with them in 5 days straight. Then i figured myself i am not that kind of person. I'm drained there, man. I had a good time though of course, it's just i miss my boyfriend too much when i was in there. I was emotionally missing him.

It's what i do tho, when i'm drained with people, i came to him and voila i got my energy back.

It all makes me feel like,

                The farther i go, the more i know i only want him.

You know it's somehow sounds like a bullshit but, uh, you know i'm not that kind of romantic girl. Well i do romance, but maybe more like a hopeless-romantic, lol. I'm being real when it comes to love. That is just what i really felt, in kilometers away, i phone-called him under the falling trees (it was beautiful and gloomy at the same time anyway), and I cried. I thank God for having him though. It turned out i needed him that much it's weird. All i wanted is to be with him in a koala hug all day. Even if i really enjoyed the view, the weather, the culture in Korea, i'd still fancy to be hugged by him with both of us alone only in a room with nothing, no view. I'll feel enough.

When i got back from Korea, i indeed felt exhausted because of all the walks, the travels, and all. Moreover, i spent my last energy at the airport, it was a really tiring tiring and panic time with a lot of walks, (cray!) I splited up from the groups in a really big airport and a lot of people there, that's why. Fyuuh. Then i slept like fainting. The next day, i'm going back to Jatinangor, just because my boyfriend wants me to.

In the 21th November, i had my birthday. Now you can tell why November is special to me, lol.

I was in my last day in Korea when i had my birthday. I was already in Jatinangor in the 22th November. Literally the next day after i arrived at home, sounds tiring isn't it? :( Cause it. is. Ugh.

But turns out my boyfriend is having something he should work on it, which he's really, really busy. I haven't even seen him. The next day, i finally saw him, but only for like 15minutes.. if im not mistaken?

Fine though fine. Fine, fine. Totally fine. It's just, you know, i miss him too much, he does too so the good thing is im not feeling it alone. Maybe just feeling sad a little, but he's feeling sad so much :( Sad me. Even more sad him. Sad us.

At the end i don't actually know how to explain this and how to end this post.

It's just we both really sad and mad at the same time. The chance of us to spend time together is really thin in this week and we already missed eachother too much.

We had very emotional conversations, we cried.

Sounds weird indeed.

For some people, they don't believe in destiny, they don't believe in "jodoh".

Well i do though.

I believe it's a love. But if at the end we don't belong to be together, then i wouldn't say it wasn't love, or if i was being fooled by the concept of love. I felt it and i have never been so sure.

I pray hard that we both could always make things work, and that we will belong together.

Once again i believe in destiny. Whatever may to happen, then happen.

I guess this is my first post i really talk about my love life, it really is weirddd, and if you do know me in real life, i'm not this type of 'menye-menye' girl actually. Hahah. So if you're one of my friends or know me in real life reading this, please, just please, forgive me.

Anyway, the thing i like from birthdays aside the cake and make a wish before blowing candles thing, I like wishes and prayers :) Send me wishes or mention my name in your prayers, i would really, reallyy happy. Oh, i don't fancy gifts or suprises though. Wishes and prayers are the most important which could've made me smile so wide!

3.12

Guess i'm just gonna end this up. Good night.

Hope after i woke up it'd be a good-good-happy day! 

Pekanbaru - Samosir

Pertama-tama mau singkat cerita dulu. Tahun 2016 ini menurutku sangat exciting karena berkesempatan pergi ke tempat-tempat baru. Sejauh ini aku udah kesampean pergi ke Malang, keliling kota Padang beserta pulau-pulau dan pantai nya yang bagus, terus yang baru aja aku datengin yaitu Pekanbaru dan Medan terus ke Pulau Samosir! 

Singkat tentang Malang, Malang super seru sih. Seperti mainstream nya aku pergi ke tempat-tempat wisata salah satunya Museum Angkut. Bagus banget sih menurutku, dan kebetulan aku kesitu pas lagi ada parade nya, seru banget dan rameee hahaha pokoknya harus ikut parade nya kalau kesempetan kesana! Waktu itu sih aku dateng around 5pm sampe pas selesai parade nya keringetan karena ngeramein aja sok asik mumpung di kota orang, yolo. Sayangnya waktu ke Museum Angkut aku sama temen-temen udah cape dan batre hp kita udah pada habis karena baru dari Batu Secret Zoo sebelumnya, jadi gak banyak foto-foto deh huhu. Mungkin next time :) Selain ke tempat wisata, besoknya aku ke pantai yang namanya Goa Cina. Bagus deh bersih! Dari kota Malang kira-kira 2 jam gitu. Total trip Malang seminggu termasuk perjalanan yang lamanya 16 jam via kereta Bandung-Malang. Pengalaman pertama bolos kuliah cuman buat jalan-jalan hehehe.

Tentang Padang, wah, kalau di kota nya emang agak bosen sih itu-itu aja. Tapi waktu itu aku jalan-jalan ke pulau-pulaunya, sempet ke Swarnadwipa, pulau Pamutusan, pulau Pasumpahan, Pulau Pagang pake tour dari Losmen Carlos (recommended). My favorite is Pulau Pagang. Swarnadwipa agak overrated sih. Air disitu bagus bangetttt sebenernya, tapi karna udah ramai berhubung pulau ini emang sempit jadi berasa sesak aja kalau rame. Bukittinggi juga bagus, dan banyak tempat-tempat yang bisa didatengin.

**

Lalu liburan semester ini saya pergi ke Pekanbaru dan mendarat di Bandara Sultan Syarif Kasim II yang saking udah lama ga kesini jadi kaget ternyata bandara nya udah bagus. Sesuai rencana seperti di post sebelumnya, aku langsung dijemput sama sodara-sodara ku dan menuju rumah nya di Duri sekitar 2/3 jam lagi dari Pekanbaru. Beberapa hari nginep disana, terus aku pergi lagi ke Medan tepatnya ke siantar dan menempuh jalan darat Duri-Siantar 12 jam, tapi sebelumnya mampir juga dulu dirumah sodara ku yang ada di Rantau Prapat baru lanjut lagi ke Siantar. Keesokannya setelah sampai di Siantar, aku pergi ke Balige, dan ke Tarutung menuju ke Wisata Rohani Salib Kasih, yea.

Selain Salib Kasih yang kalau mau keatas harus nanjak dan agak sedikit bikin keringetan, aku pergi ke tempat Air Soda. Jadi ada satu rumah warga yang dibelakangnya ternyata muncul mata air Air Soda. Serius Air nya kayak Sprite gitu. Sejauh ini baru ditemukan 2 di dunia, yang satu lagi ada di Philippine. Kerennya untuk bernang (dibentuk seperti kolam renang tapi air nya selalu ngalir jadi gak pernah kotor) tidak dikenakan biaya apapun. "Buat apa orang lain bayar kalau Tuhan memberi nya gratis ditanah nenek moyang saya" kata si pemilik rumah. Padahal tadinya mau dibeli Pemda tapi si pemilik gak mau.

sorry for bad quality

Lalu besoknya kita mau nyebrang ke Pulau Samosir dan nginap disana 2 hari. Pertama kali nyebrang ke Samosir ternyata seru juga. Kebetulan penyebrangan disana 24 jam, aku sampai di pelabuhan jam 7 malem dan mulai ngantri untuk naik kapal ferry (aku naik mobil) dan baru dapet ferry jam 12 malam. Sesungguh nya 5 jam itu cepet banget..... mau tau kenapa? Kita gak sengaja nyalip barisan padahal sebenernya antriannya udah panjang tapi kita gak ngeh, eh nyalip aja, duh hahaha. Untungnya mobilnya belum dinomorin jadi gak diusir barisan, walaupun mobil belakang jadi agak ngambek. Maaf tidak diulangi lagi kok pas nyebrang balik pulang :( Lalu kita bermalam di Tuktuk dan disini aku ibaratkan seperti Bali nya Sumatra punya! hahaha. Banyak bule juga disini dan hampir semua masyarakat asli sini fasih bahasa inggris loh. Lovin' the vibe here.

Just a random resto - such a rare menus in sumatra

Bisa sewa sepeda

Pagi nya aku pergi ke Pantai tapi bukan air laut, tetep air Danau Toba. Kita berenang dan water sport  yang entah kenapa terasa lebih ekstrem hahaha. Terus makan ikan yang dipancing dari danau Toba dengan sambal khas Sumatra yang andalan bahannya itu pakai Andaliman. Enak dan pedes. Quiet fun!

Keunikan lain lagi yang ada disini adalah, makam. Banyak makam-makan disini yang aku sampe bingung, gede-gede banget bangunannya. Macem-macem deh. Aku sampe nganggap apa jangan-jangan disini ada arsitek khusus makam tersendiri kali ya. Ada yang sampe di bentuk tugu, ada patung-patungnya, dsb. Biasanya sih satu makam itu barengan, maksudnya bisa sampai 6-8 orang atau bahkan lebih dan katanya juga melambangkan status sosial dari keluarga tersebut.

Sayang nya cuma ke foto 1 dan lagi-lagi bad quality :(

Besoknya hari terakhir di Samosir,  mau pulang nyebrang ke Parapat lagi mampir dulu ke Tomok untuk beli oleh-oleh sekalian aku diajak untuk nonton si Gale-gale. Ternyata si Gale-gale itu emang terkenal mistis dan jadi salah satu legenda yang dibudayakan disini. Tapi seru nortor khas batak gitu jadi  berasa bataknya hehehe.

p.s all the pictures here are mine.

Lalu sisanya aku balik lagi ke Duri dengan badan yang pegel-pegel tapi harus menempuh 12 jam perjalanan lagi. Alhasil di mobil kebanyakan tidur deh hahaha. Beberapa hari kemudian aku balik ke Jakarta. It was a really fun trip anyways and hope it's interesting enough to read :)

Holiday kit.

Gunanya berada diantara orang-orang

Untuk menyadari betapa kurangnya diri

Bahwa aku ini jauh dari cukup

Agar tidak berpuas diri

Gunanya berada diantara orang-orang

Untuk juga melihat keatas

Bahwa kamu masih dibawah

Agar tidak bermegah diri

Karena merasa cukup

Nyaman dan menipu

Maka keluar dari nyaman;

Berada diantara orang-orang.

Hello—

Liburan semester sudah tiba! Bukan seperti liburan-liburan sekolah yang cuman paling lama 1 bulan, liburan semester aku kebetulan kurang lebih sampai 3 bulan. There are actually a lot of days, aren’t it? hahah. Untuk mengisi hari-hari liburan, tentunya ketemu teman-teman. Tapiii, selain teman-teman, kali ini, seperti dikutip dari tulisan aku diatas, aku pingin berada diantara orang-orang yang bukan biasa aku hang-out with. Kalau temen-temen hang-out pasti ya sama-sama aja, aku udah kenal mereka. I’m expecting getting something new from people. The fact that, even bad people has their own good really made me think of i should probably dig the good out of them and make a learn to myself. Plus, knowing your own bad and good is actually a really good idea either. So i guess, i’m gonna call this as self-upgrading. 

Rencana liburan kali ini dimulai dengan ikut pergi sama temen-temen mama, nginep sendiri ke saudara yang sejujurnya aku kurang deket, kurang banyak ngobrol, and it's for a week without my parents, Flying-solo, dan go overseas with my friends.

Belakangan ini aku ngerasa kurang banget dalam segala aspek. Sampai aku bahkan gatau what i’m good at, what i really want for my future, and even when i found out what i’m good at, i don’t even THAT SO SURE to work on it dan go for it. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it? It’s like lack of self awareness. And it does feel bad.

But, i'm really enjoying this holiday, so far. Chill days. I could watch good movies, do writing, explore new songs, bands, new thoughts. Well, not so important and productive as well but gaining something new for self counted as productive, no? hahaha, well. At least i’m still enjoying my time here.

And even i’m away from my boifriend, that doesn’t mean i’m not thinking about him all the time. (In case he reads it) So, yeah.

Enjoy ur holiday, bai! xxo

Bagaimana ceritanya saya berada disini
Bagaimana ceritanya saya terjaga disini
Sendiri, Berfikir
Menelan bulat-bulat semua yang terjadi

Semakin banyaknya pertanyaan ini
Semakin banyak jawab tak kutemui
Ya disini-sini saja
Seperti lingkaran yang tak berujung

Yang saya paham,
Tak ada yang namanya kebetulan
Lagi pula apa maknanya kebetulan
jika dibandingkan dengan takdir?

Memang hidup adalah kumpulan keputusan
Tapi saat kau benar-benar sadar memilih
Segerakah kau tahu bahwa itu benar,
bahwa memang itu yang baik?

Seringnya kita memprotes langit
Seringnya kita menyalahkan diri
Lalu pergi menyisakan sunyi
Dalam sandiwara dan pertanyaan kosong