November

02.19

It has been always like this when i decided to write, a past-midnight time. Fortunately, i had enough nap on the afternoon, or maybe that's the reason why i still wide awake till now.

Like the title, November. Why i choose it as the title is not only because it is in November, but also because a lot is happening in this month. I could've name every post with the name of the month as a title but, oh, November is always special.

well for me, of course.

On the 16th November, i had the chance to go to Korea. Not the 'chance' as you expected from college-or-reward thingy, nope, but i'd still call it a chance. It was fine and fun until i feel drained just because i was being in a bunch of people i don't usually spend time with. People i don't even know the name. Some people i don't even close to and i have to stick and socialize with them in 5 days straight. Then i figured myself i am not that kind of person. I'm drained there, man. I had a good time though of course, it's just i miss my boyfriend too much when i was in there. I was emotionally missing him.

It's what i do tho, when i'm drained with people, i came to him and voila i got my energy back.

It all makes me feel like,

                The farther i go, the more i know i only want him.

You know it's somehow sounds like a bullshit but, uh, you know i'm not that kind of romantic girl. Well i do romance, but maybe more like a hopeless-romantic, lol. I'm being real when it comes to love. That is just what i really felt, in kilometers away, i phone-called him under the falling trees (it was beautiful and gloomy at the same time anyway), and I cried. I thank God for having him though. It turned out i needed him that much it's weird. All i wanted is to be with him in a koala hug all day. Even if i really enjoyed the view, the weather, the culture in Korea, i'd still fancy to be hugged by him with both of us alone only in a room with nothing, no view. I'll feel enough.

When i got back from Korea, i indeed felt exhausted because of all the walks, the travels, and all. Moreover, i spent my last energy at the airport, it was a really tiring tiring and panic time with a lot of walks, (cray!) I splited up from the groups in a really big airport and a lot of people there, that's why. Fyuuh. Then i slept like fainting. The next day, i'm going back to Jatinangor, just because my boyfriend wants me to.

In the 21th November, i had my birthday. Now you can tell why November is special to me, lol.

I was in my last day in Korea when i had my birthday. I was already in Jatinangor in the 22th November. Literally the next day after i arrived at home, sounds tiring isn't it? :( Cause it. is. Ugh.

But turns out my boyfriend is having something he should work on it, which he's really, really busy. I haven't even seen him. The next day, i finally saw him, but only for like 15minutes.. if im not mistaken?

Fine though fine. Fine, fine. Totally fine. It's just, you know, i miss him too much, he does too so the good thing is im not feeling it alone. Maybe just feeling sad a little, but he's feeling sad so much :( Sad me. Even more sad him. Sad us.

At the end i don't actually know how to explain this and how to end this post.

It's just we both really sad and mad at the same time. The chance of us to spend time together is really thin in this week and we already missed eachother too much.

We had very emotional conversations, we cried.

Sounds weird indeed.

For some people, they don't believe in destiny, they don't believe in "jodoh".

Well i do though.

I believe it's a love. But if at the end we don't belong to be together, then i wouldn't say it wasn't love, or if i was being fooled by the concept of love. I felt it and i have never been so sure.

I pray hard that we both could always make things work, and that we will belong together.

Once again i believe in destiny. Whatever may to happen, then happen.

I guess this is my first post i really talk about my love life, it really is weirddd, and if you do know me in real life, i'm not this type of 'menye-menye' girl actually. Hahah. So if you're one of my friends or know me in real life reading this, please, just please, forgive me.

Anyway, the thing i like from birthdays aside the cake and make a wish before blowing candles thing, I like wishes and prayers :) Send me wishes or mention my name in your prayers, i would really, reallyy happy. Oh, i don't fancy gifts or suprises though. Wishes and prayers are the most important which could've made me smile so wide!

3.12

Guess i'm just gonna end this up. Good night.

Hope after i woke up it'd be a good-good-happy day!